macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #12)
Why do the undead prey upon the living? If it has been proven that human flesh serves no nutritional purpose, why does their instinct drive them to murder? Modern science, combined with historical data, has shown that living humans are not the only delights on the undead menu. Any creatures, no matter what their size of species, will be consumed by an attacking zombie. Human flesh, however, will always be preferable to other life forms. What can be confirmed, beyond any shadow of doubt, is that instinct brought on by Solanum drives the undead to kill and devour any living creature they discover. There appear to be no exceptions.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #29)
The act of dousing consists of simply filling a bucket with flammable liquid (gasoline kerosene, etc.), throwing it at a zombie or zombies, lighting a match, and running. If there is room for escape and no danger of residual fire damage, the only drawback to this method is the close proximity required to fully drench the enemy.

On the Run

Mar. 10th, 2011 10:45 am
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #22)
Where exactly are you headed? Too often, people have abandoned their fortifications to wander aimlessly and hopelessly across an area swarming with ghouls. Without a fixed destination in mind, the chances of surviving the journey are slim. Use your radio to discover the nearest haven. If possible, try to communicate with the outside world to confirm that this destination is indeed safe. Always have a backup destination, in case the first is overrun. Unless other humans are waiting, and unless constant communication is maintained, you may arrive to find a gathering of zombies waiting hungrily at the finish line.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #22)
Care for Your Tools


Weapons, no matter how simple they may be, must be cared for as if they were living things. Anyone with firearm experience knows that inspection and cleaning are part of everyday use. This also applies to close-combat weapons. Blades need polish and rust protection. Grips need checking and maintenance. Never abuse your tools or expose them to unnecessary damage. If possible, have them tested regularly by experienced professionals. These experts may detect early-stage defects imperceptible to the amateur user.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #21)
A practically indefensible structure. Large shopping centers are always targets for both humans and zombies. It is always the case with social disturbance: At the first sign of trouble, these concentrations of wealth swarm with private security, police, even overzealous shop owners. If the crisis occurs suddenly, a large number of shoppers may become trapped within the mall, creating problems of overcrowding, trampling, and suffocation, as well as attracting the dead. In an outbreak of any class, heading for a shopping mall would mean heading for a center of chaos.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #18)
how useful is this cultural icon against a swarm of newly risen flesh-eaters? In truth, not very. Unlike our fictional heroes, the average person may have difficulty hitting anything, let alone something as small and mobile as a zombie's head. Studies have shown that of all wasted ballistic wounds--e.g., those that struck a zombie in a non-lethal way--73 percent came from some type of handgun. Where handguns do come in handy is in extreme circumstances. If you are grabbed by a zombie, a pistol can be a life-saver. Pressing its muzzle against the undead temple and squeezing the trigger takes no skill and ensures a positive kill. For these reasons, a pistol should always be carried when confronting ghouls, but as a backup only.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #15)
This term applies to any jar of flammable liquid with a primitive fuse. It is a cheap, effective way to kill multiple zombies at once. If the situation permits--e.g., fleeing an advancing horde, clearing a fireproof structure, or destroying a flammable structure with multiple zombies trapped in it--by all means, bombard the ghouls in question until nothing is left but ash.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #12)
Smaller, one-handed crossbows can serve as a complement to your primary weapon. Carrying one means that a compact, silent weapon will always be on hand if needed. In comparison to the larger crossbow, hand bows have inferior accuracy, power, and range. using one means getting closer to the target. This increases not only the danger but the risk of detection, which, in turn, negates the need for a silent weapon. Use the hand bow carefully, and sparingly.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Jeopardy)
Do-dee-do-do-do-dee-do do-dee-do-do-DUPE-do-do-do-do... )















ANSWER: ... OF ALFRED HITCHCOCK MOVIES STARRING JIMMY STEWART
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Jeopardy)
Do-dee-do-do-do-dee-do do-dee-do-do-DUPE-do-do-do-do... )















ANSWER: ... OF WRITERS BURIED IN PARIS' PANTHEON
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Jeopardy)
Do-dee-do-do-do-dee-do do-dee-do-do-DUPE-do-do-do-do... )















ANSWER: ...OF THE U.S. STATES THAT BORDER AN OCEAN

On the Run

Feb. 23rd, 2011 10:34 am
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #12)
During the course of an outbreak, you may find it necessary to flee the area. Your fortress may be overrun. you may run out of supplies. Too often, people who have been holed up in fortified dwellings are seduced by the distractions of their initial freedom. Most of these people never make it to safety. do not become one of these unnecessary statistics. Your mission is to escape--nothing more, nothing less. Do not look for abandoned valuables. Do not hunt the occasional zombie. Do not investigate any strange noises or lights in the distance. Just get out. Every side trip, every pause in the journey, increases the odds of being found and devoured.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #8)
the 1965 "Lawson Film", as it is now commonly called, is an 8mm home movie of five people attempting to escape the infestation of Lawson, Montana. Its shaky, soundless footage shows the group racing to a school bus, starting the engine, and attempting to drive out of town. After only two blocks, they accidentally rammed several wrecked cars, backed up into a building, and cracked the rear axle. Two members of the group smashed the windshield and tried to make it out on foot. The camera operator filmed one of them being grabbed and mauled by six zombies. The other ran for her life, disappearing around a corner. Little is known of what happened to the survivors. The bus was eventually found with its door caved in. Dried blood covered the inside.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #4)
A zombie--bloated, waterlogged, with skin completely dissolved--washed ashore on the coast of the island. The zombie began to pursue its onlookers. The crowd continued to retreat from the approaching ghoul. The police fired two rounds into its chest, producing no effect. A six-year-old boy, not realizing the danger, ran up to the zombie and began to poke it with a stick. The zombie grabbed the child and tried to raise it to its mouth. Two officers rushed forward and attempted to wrestle the child from the zombie's grip. At that moment, Jeremiah Dewitt stepped out of the crowd and fired a round through the zombie's head. Amazingly, no human was infected by the ghoul.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #3)
Voodoo zombies exhibit thought. When a real zombie encounters you it will immediately home in like a smart bomb. A voodoo zombie will take a moment to try to figure out who or what you are. Maybe it will come toward you, maybe it will recoil, maybe it will continue its observation as its damaged brain attempts to analyze the information given it. What a voodoo zombie not do is raise its arms, drop its jaw, unleash a hellish moan, and stumble directly toward you.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #2)
Little is known about the altered taste buds of the walking dead. Zombies do have the ability to tell human flesh apart from that of animals, and they prefer the former. Ghouls also have a remarkable ability to reject carrion in favor of freshly killed meat. A human body that has been dead longer than twelve to eighteen hours will be rejected as food. The same goes for cadavers that have been embalmed or otherwise preserved. As to exactly why human flesh is preferable, science has yet to find an answer to this confounding, frustrating, terrifying question.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #1)
Army, Marine, or even Air Force bases should be your top priority when searching for a fortress. Many are located in sparsely populated and therefore less infested areas. they have elaborate security fences around their perimeters. Some have secondary, even tertiary defensive positions. Most are equipped with fully stocked, fully functional fallout shelters, some with the capabilities of a small city. Because they have multiple means of communication, they will be the last of all global facilities to lose contact with one another. What is the most important is no the physical fortifications but the people within them. Well-trained, well-armed, well-disciplined people are always the best defense.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Jeopardy)
Do-dee-do-do-do-dee-do do-dee-do-do-DUPE-do-do-do-do... )















ANSWER: GLASS ARTIST DALE CHIHULY IS A GRADUATE OF THIS DESIGN COLLEGE ABBREVIATED RISD
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Jeopardy)
Do-dee-do-do-do-dee-do do-dee-do-do-DUPE-do-do-do-do... )















ANSWER: JOHN WAYNE ATTENDED THIS L.A. UNIVERSITY IN THE 1920S AND ALSO PLAYED ON ITS FOOTBALL TEAM
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #2)
In the early stages of an outbreak, people tend to capture, not kill, zombies they have known in mortal life. When the captors have either fled or been devoured, restrained zombies may remain for years, able to repeat the cycle if released. After an area has been swept for ghouls, sweep it again. Then, sweep it again.

Zombies could be anywhere--in sewers, attics, basements, cars, air ducts, crawl spaces, even inside walls or under mounds of debris. Pay particular attention to bodies of water. Zombies wandering at the bottom of lakes, rivers, even reservoirs have been known to surface well after an area has been declared safe.
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