macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Survive If You Have No One to Kiss
on New Year's Eve


  1. Kiss a pet.
    Dogs are generally agreeable and have clean mouths. Cats are usually well groomed but are more passive and tend to get rather than give. Keep your mouth closed.

  2. Kiss yourself.
    Find a mirror, pucker up, lean close, and kiss. Keep your lips slightly parted. Do not attempt to use your tongue. Wipe the mirror after you have completed your kiss. You may also try kissing the back of your hand.

  3. Hug a pillow.
    Full-body pillows are more satisfying.

  4. Call a friend on the phone.
    After you wish your friend a Happy New Year, give the telephone mouthpiece loud, smacking kisses.

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How to Treat Mistletoe Poisoning

  1. Determine if real berries have been ingested.
    Many mistletoe distributors replace natural berries with plastic ones, which are light-colored and waxy-looking. Check mistletoe to see if the remaining berries are real; if they are, go to step 4.

  2. Look for missing or chewed leaves.
    Mistletoe leaves contain fewer toxins than berries, but present another danger: Leaves have a protein that causes severe gastrointestinal pain, cramping, and diarrhea. Unlike berries, leaves on packages mistletoe are generally natural.

  3. Watch for the symptoms of mistletoe poisoning.
    Look for severe intestinal distress in the form of vomiting, gagging, and diarrhea. Ingesting fewer than three berries or two leaves is unlikely to produce significant clinical effects in pets or humans and probably does not require treatment.

  4. Call a veterinarian or poison control center.
    Follow the specialist's instructions for dealing with poisoning.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Stop a Runaway One-Horse Open Sleigh

  1. Stay in the sleigh.
    Grip the seat or railing with one hand and the reins with the other.

  2. Grab the reins.
    If you cannot reach the reins or they are loose and dragging on the ground, do not attempt to reach them. Hold on to the sleigh and wait for the horse to tire.

  3. Tug and release the reins with a medium pressure.
    Repeat until the horse begins to slow down.

  4. When the horse slows down to a slow lope or a trot, pull one rein to the side.
    With steady pressure, move the horse's head all the way around toward you. This will cause the horse to begin going in a circle. The horse will quickly tire of circling and slow to a walk.

  5. Pull back with steady pressure on both reins until the horse stops.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Survive an Avalanche

  1. Struggle to stay on top of the snow by using a freestyle swimming motion.

  2. If you are only partially buried, dig your way out with your hands or by kicking at the snow.
    If you have a ski pole, poke through the snow until you feel open air.

  3. If you are completely buried, dig a small hole around you and spit in it.
    The saliva will fall down, giving you an idea of which direction is up. Dig up.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
Today in Survival History

On this day in 1773, Massachusetts colonists raided three British tea ships and staged the Boston Tea Party. Disguised as Mohawk Indians, the rebels entered Boston Harbor and dumped 342 chests of tea into the water in protest of the British Parliament's Tea Act of 1773. Patriot leader Samuel Adams and other members of the Sons of Liberty stormed the tea ships after Governor Thomas Hutchinson refused to send them back to England. In response to the dumping of £18,000 of tea, England enacted the Intolerable Acts, which drove the two countries closer to war.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Deliver a Baby

  1. Time the uterine contractions.
    For first-time mothers, when contractions are about 3 to 5 minutes apart and last 40 to 90 seconds--and increase in strength and frequency--for at least an hour, the labor is most likely real and not false. Have clean, dry towels, a clean shirt, or something similar on hand.

  2. As the baby moves out of the womb, its head--the biggest part of its body--will open the cervix so the res of it can pass through.

  3. When the baby is out of the mother, dry it off, and keep it warm.
    If necessary, clear any fluid out of the baby's mouth with your fingers.

  4. Tie off the umbilical cord.
    Take a piece of string--a shoelace works well--and tie off the cord several inches from the baby. Do not cut the umbilical cord.

  5. Get to a hospital.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
Today's Hero

George Washington, the revolutionary leader and first president of the United States, died on this day in 1799. In 1775, Washington was nominated as the commander in chief of the Continental Army in America's war against British rule. In October of 1781, Washington accepted the surrender of General Charles Lord Cornwallis and the British army at Yorktown, Virginia. In February or 1789 he was unanimously elected president and then unanimously reelected in 1792. Four years later Washington refused a third term and retired to his Virginia estate, where he died at the age of 67.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Untangle Christmas Tree Lights

  1. Unplug all connected strands.
    Unplug all strands so your tangle is on containing several knotted sections, not one long knotted strand. (The shorter the strands, the less complex the knots.)

  2. Find a free end.

  3. Loosen all the knots.
    When the knots are all loose, create a hole through the tangle where the free end leaves the mass.

  4. Roll or wind the free end through each knot in the tangle.
    Treat the strands gently to avoid breaking the bulbs.

  5. Untie each successive knot.
    Keep the free end rolled to make it easier to work with and reduce the amount of cord to pull through.

  6. Keep the free end under control.
    Never pull on the free end. Pulling will tighten the tangle. The know-free section should continue to get longer.

  7. Repeat as necessary.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Survive If You Fall Through Ice

  1. Use your elbows to lift yourself up unto the edge of the hole, facing the direction from which you came.
    Let as much water as possible drain from your clothing.

  2. Reach out onto the solid ice as far as possible.
    If you have keys, use them to help your grip.

  3. Kick your feet as though you were swimming, and pull yourself up.

  4. Once on the ice surface, stay flat and roll away from the hole.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Avoid Breaking Through Ice When Driving

  • Do not drive on ice early or late in the season.
    Cars and light trucks need at least eight inches of clear, solid ice on which to drive safely.

  • Cross any cracks at right angles, and drive slowly.

  • Carry several large nails and a length of rope.
    The nails will help you pull yourself out of the ice if you fall in, and the rope can be thrown to someone on more solid ice.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
Today in Survival History

The first confirmed bank robbery by the James-Younger gang occurred on this day in 1869. The gang robbed the Daviess County Savings Bank in Gallatin, Missouri, making off with $700. The now-legendary Jesse James was a member of the gang that robbed banks throughout the Midwest. Five earlier robberies in Kentucky and Missouri are now attributed to that gang, but the Daviess County Savings Bank marked the first confirmed robbery.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
Today's Hero

On this day in 1955, Rosa Parks refused to surrender her bus seat to a white passenger while in Montgomery, Alabama. Her brave action helped launch the civil rights movement in the United States. Parks was fined and arrested, leading to the formation of the Montgomery Improvement Association under the direction of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. the association organized a boycott of Montgomery public transportation that lasted over one year. The attention that the boycott brought to the injustice resulted in a Supreme Court ruling to abolish segregation on public transportation.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Land a Helicopter If the Engine Fails

  1. Immediately lower the collective.
    The collective changes the helicopter's altitude. Move the collective lever all the way down to descend.

  2. Place your feet on the pedals.
    The left pedal moves the helicopter left. The right pedal moves the helicopter right. The cyclic moves the helicopter forward or backward. Do not aply too much pressure to either pedal.

  3. Glide forward slowly.
    Look for a smooth surface, avoid landing in a field that may have rocks, stumps, or mud. Do not attempt a water landing. Stay strapped to your seat.

  4. Pull the collective all the way up at about 50 feet above the ground.

  5. Prepare for impact.
    Get on the cabin floor as soon as you feel impact, then run as soon as there is no danger of being hit by the rotor blades.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Stop a Car with No Brakes

  1. Pump the brake pedal.
    you may build up enough pressure in the braking system to slow down a bit.

  2. Shift the car into the lowest gear possible and let the engine and transmission slow you down.

  3. Pull the emergency brake--but not too hard.
    Pulling too hard will cause the rear wheels to lock and the car to spin. Use even, constant pressure. In most cars, the emergency brake is cable-operated, serving as a fail-safe brake that should still work when the rest of the braking system has failed.

  4. Look for something to help stop you.
    A flat or uphill road that intersects with the road you are on, a field, or a fence will slow you further but not stop you suddenly. Avoid trees and wooden telephone poles; they do not yield easily. Do not attempt to sideswipe oncoming cars.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Escape If Trapped in a Walk-In Freezer

  1. Tap several times on the door to get someone's attention.

  2. Check the door and lock area.
    By law, all walk-in freezers must have an emergency release switch on the interior.

  3. Locate a power switch.
    Some units may have an accessible on/off switch. Turn off the cooling element.

  4. Locate boxes.
    Tear cardboard boxes apart and spread them on the floor.

  5. Look for insulating materials.
    Lie down on the cardboard and cover yourself with paper, foam, or straw to preserve body heat.

  6. Tap on the door every 15 minutes until help arrives.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Break Down a Door

Give the door a well-placed kick or two to the lock area to break it down.
Running at the door and slamming against it with your shoulder or body is not usually as effective as kicking with your foot. Your foot exerts more force than your shoulder, and you will be able to direct the force toward the area of the locking mechanism more succinctly with your foot.

Exterior doors are of sturdier construction than interior doors. Kick at the point where the lock is mounted.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Escape from a Sinking Car

  1. Open the window as soon as possible.
    Opening the window allows water to come in and equalize the pressure.

  2. If you cannot roll your windows down, break the glass.
    Use your foot, shoulder, or a heavy object such as an antitheft steering wheel lock.

  3. Get out as soon as you can.
    Floating time will range from a few seconds to a few minutes.

  4. If you are unable to open the window or break it, wait until the car fills with water.
    When the water level reaches your head, take a deep breath and hold it. Now the pressure should be equalized inside and outside, and you should be able to open the door and swim to the surface.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
Today in Survival History

On this day in 1975 the SS Edmund Fitzgerald sank into the waters of Lake Superior. Launched in 1958, the 729-foot-long Fitzgerald was at one point the largest and fastest ship on the Great Lakes. On its final journey the freighter met with a storm blowing 60 mph winds and crashing waves that exceeded 15 feet. The ship lost radio contact and took on heavy water until it pitched down into the lake and was unable to recover. Today the ship lies broken in two sections below 530 feet of water at the bottom of Lake Superior.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Fly Safely (How to Decrease the
Risk of Injury in an Airplane Crash


  1. Take a nonstop flight, if possible.
    Most accidents happen in the takeoff and landing phases of flight; the fewer stops you make, the less chance of an accident.

  2. Wear long-sleeved shirts and long pants made of natural fibers.
    Avoid synthetic materials: Most will melt at relatively low temperatures. Wear closed-toe, hard-soled shoes.

  3. Select a seat on the aisle, somewhere in the rear half of the cabin.

  4. Listen to the safety briefing and locate your nearest exits.
    Pick an exit to use in an emergency, and an alternate one in case the first one is not available. Count the seats between you and the exits in case smoke fills the plane and you cannot see them.

  5. Practice opening your seat belt. Many people mistakenly try to push the center of the buckle rather than pull up on it.

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Worst Case)
How to Survive a Nuclear Explosion

  • In the event of a nuclear war or explosion, get to a safe shelter as quickly as possible, and remain inside for four to six days after the last explosion.
    An underground shelter covered by one meter or more of earth will provide the best protection. If you must emerge, limit your surface exposure to no more than 30 minutes a day for 13 days following the explosion.

  • If you have been exposed to radiation, immediately wash your body thoroughly with soap and water.
    This will remove most of the radiation particles, but not all.

  • Water can be safely obtained from underground sources (springs and wells, for example) that undergo natural filtration, or from pipes in abandoned houses or stores.

  • Healthy-looking wild animals are safe food source if other foods are not available.
    Avoid any meat close to the bones and joints (an animal's skeleton contains over 90 percent of the radioactivity).

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