First Post

Jan. 5th, 2013 04:42 pm
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Default)
Hello world.

I did it!

Nov. 22nd, 2011 12:26 pm
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Running shoe)
As most of you who follow me on Twitter, and really why wouldn't you follow me, already know I finished my first 5k race this past Saturday. My only stated goal was to finish, which I did, however I did have a private goal in my head to finish in under an hour, which I didn't. But I'm okay with that and I'll explain why in a little bit. If you scroll all the way to the bottom of the Men's times you can see that I finished in 1:04:59 (chip time)--dead last of all the men. I came in just ahead of a group of 5 women that walked the whole thing.

I hope you packed a lunch because this got pretty long. )
macdobhran: FFZ (FFZ)

Well, it wasn’t quite as hot as last weekend but it was close. Saturday morning I spread out the 40 bags of black mulch that I had ordered from Home Depot the week before. They didn’t quite cover the entire area so I had to go back and pick up 10 more bags at regular price. Man! Is that stuff expensive!

We only used 5 of those so the total to cover my newly made bed: 65.

Time to create said bed: 2 full days.

Personal satisfaction: Priceless.

I’m not sure of the total cost, but it was a lot more than what I thought it would be. Mainly due to the amount of mulch and the landscaping fabric. The fabric, while expensive, is the absolute key ingredient in creating a weed/grass free bed. I likened it to yeast in a cake until [ profile] cellymcfae ruefully reminded me that you don’t use yeast in cakes.

This is why I tend to work in the yard and stay out of the kitchen.

This post is just a taste of what is on Fast Food Zen. Try our specials!
macdobhran: FFZ (FFZ)

This past Saturday was so nice that I spent all day, and I mean ALL DAY, outside working in the yard. I’ll spare you the exciting tale of lawn mowing and instead skip to the fun stuff.

This first picture is how the western side of our backyard looked before I started. I had been very lax about pruning the bushes so they got huge, effectively killing all the grass underneath them. Which was fine with me because after the neighbors built their fence it was pretty difficult to mow behind them anyway. Then we got several feet of snow which bent and broke a lot of the branches so last year I cut them all way back and used my handy-dandy chipper to make mulch out of them.

So I decided to create a bed around the bushes to A) make it easier to mow and B) give the yard a cleaner look. I started by using a flat shovel to dig a 4-6″ deep trench in front of the bushes. After about 4 feet it looked like a drunken gopher was running amok in the yard. So I decided to use some twine and yard flags to make sure I stayed in a straight line.

After digging the trench it took about 75 feet of plastic edging to make the border of the bed. By this time TheLad was helping me with the trench. We backfilled the trench with the dirt we just dug out of it, making adjustments as we went. Then TheWife joined us and we all laid down the landscaping fabric, pinning it in place as we went. I only had 20 bags of mulch and by this time we were all pretty wiped out. So TheLad and I started putting that down while TheWife finished laying out the fabric.

As you can see in this photo we only covered about half of the bed, which measures out at about 750 sq ft. On Monday I went back to Home Depot for more mulch but they were sold out. Since it was on sale, they let me pre-buy 40 more bags at the sale price. Those bags arrived Tuesday. I rented one of their trucks to bring them home. TheWife and I unloaded all 40 bags in the 95-degree heat. And then left them.

Hopefully this weekend won’t be as miserably hot. I’d really love to cross this bed, the smallest of three, off my to-do list.

This post is just a taste of what is on Fast Food Zen. Try our specials!
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #12)
List your gear, be ready to shop. Any competent disaster-survival manual should catalog everything you will need to begin a new life. Always maintain three detailed and up-to-date lists.
  1. What you absolutely need to survive.

  2. Equipment to help build and expand your dwelling and surroundings.

  3. If not all the comforts of home, at least a close approximation.

If finances permit, purchase all your items immediately. If not, know where to purchase them. Always have at least two backup options in case your primary supplier runs out of stock. Always have a cash reserve for the bare essentials. Even before the situation spirals out of control, checks and credit cards will not compare to the comfort of paper money.

On the Run

Apr. 20th, 2011 11:35 am
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #1)
Get in Shape:

Your body should be conditioned for a long journey. Begin a strict cardiovascular regimen. If there is no time, make sure the path you have chosen is within your physical abilities.

All groups should carry:
  • Silent ballistic weapon
    (preferably a silenced firearm or crossbow)
  • Extra ammunition for fifteen kills
    (if weapon differs from standard firearm)
  • Telescopic sight
  • Medium-sized medical kit
  • Two-way radio with headphones
  • Crowbar (in lieu of hand weapon)
  • Water-purification pump


Apr. 20th, 2011 11:29 am
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #2)
Armor: Chain Mail

If worn from head to toe, this simpler form or armor actually does provide some protection from zombie bites. Teeth will be unable to penetrate its links. Its flexibility allows for greater movement and speed; its lack of a faceplate allows for greater visibility. Unlike solid plates it allows the skin to breathe and thereby cuts down on dehydration and overheating. Unless you have been training with this armor for years, your combat effectiveness is bound to be impaired. Its weight can still increase exhaustion. The pressure of a zombie bite may still be enough to crack bones or tear muscles within the armor. If you choose chain mail, make sure it is battle quality! Much of the the medieval or ancient armor produced today is for decoration or stage performance.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #22)
If you do not live in a two-story house, the attic will be a less comfortable but equally secure substitute. Most can be secured by simply raising the retractable staircase or removing the temporary ladder. Zombies lack the cognitive ability to build a ladder of their own. If you stay quiet, they will not even know that an attic exists. Never use a basement as a shelter. Popular horror flicks have shown that, in a crunch, this subterranean chamber can protect the living from the dead. This is a dangerous fallacy. Burning, suffocating, or simply starving to death in basements have claimed hundreds of lives over the years.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Jeopardy)
Do-dee-do-do-do-dee-do do-dee-do-do-DUPE-do-do-do-do... )

macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #21)
Instead of leading the undead on for miles, bait will draw them to a fixed position. This position could be constructed of debris, hastily erected barbed wire, wrecked cars, or your own vehicles. From the fixed position, your team will stand its ground, killing the zombies before they can overrun the barricade. In this instance, incendiary devices are ideal. A flamethrower (only in this case) would utterly destroy their ranks. If incineration is not an option, simple marksmanship will accomplish the same task. Make sure your distances are measured and your rounds are expended wisely. Use the barricade tactic in urban areas or those that provide great visibility. Specifically exclude jungles, swamps, or thick forests.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #22)
Zombies are migratory organisms, with no regard for territory or concept of home. They will travel miles and perhaps, given time, cross continents in their search for food. Their hunting pattern is random. Ghouls will feed at night and during the day. They will stumble through an area rather than deliberately searching it. The undead possess an uncanny ability to home in on a victim's precise location. The head turns immediately in the direction of its victim. The jaw drops, lips retract, and from the depths of its diaphragm, comes the moan. Once contact is made, zombies cannot be distracted by any means. They will continue to pursue their prey, stopping only if they lose contact, make a successful kill, or are destroyed.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #29)
What is otherwise known as your basic "car" has thousands of variations. This makes it difficult to generalize about their advantages and disadvantages. When choosing, look for gas mileage, equipment storage space, and durability. If sedans have one major drawback, it is their lack of all-terrain capability. As stated before, most roads will be blocked, jammed, or destroyed. If you own a sedan, imagine how it would perform crossing a field. Now add snow, mud, rocks, tree stumps, ditches, streambeds, and a variety of rusting, forgotten junk. Chances are that your sedan would not get very far. Too often, the land around an infested area has been littered with broken-down and/or stuck sedans.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #4)
Do not use the phone. As in all disasters, the lines will probably be tied up. One more call only contributes to clogging the system. Keep the ringer on the lowest setting (or vibrate). If a call does come through, by all means answer it, but do so quietly. Plan an alternate escape. you may be safe from zombies but not from fire. If a gas line bursts, or some fool down the street goes crazy with a Molotov, you may have to abandon your home. Find a bag or other means of carrying essentials and keep it at the ready.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #2)
These weapons (rifle or pistol) fire a round no wider than a few millimeters and no longer than an inch. In an attack by the undead .22 rimfire stands proudly alongside its heavier cousins. The small size of its rounds allows you to carry three times as much ammunition. this also makes the weapon itself lighter, a godsend on long treks through ghoul-infested territory. Two disadvantages present themselves, however, when the use of a .22 is considered. The small round has zero stopping power. A ghoul taking a round to the chest would not even be slowed. Another problem is the lack of skull penetration at longer ranges. But do not discount this small and efficient firearm.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #15)
There is no question that zombies have excellent hearing. Not only can they detect sound--they can determine its direction. The basic range appears to be the same as that for humans. Experiments with extreme high and low frequencies have yielded negative results. Tests have also shown that zombies are attracted by any sounds, not just those made by living creatures. it has been recorded that ghouls will notice sounds ignored by living humans. The most likely, if unproven, explanation is that zombies depend on all their senses equally. Humans are sight-oriented from birth, depending on other senses only if the primary one is lost. Perhaps this is not a handicap shared by the walking dead. If so, it would explain their ability to hunt, fight, and feed in total darkness.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #18)
If you have a ladder, use it to continue to stock your upstairs refuge. If not, catalog what you do have, fill all sinks and other receptacles with water, and prepare for a long wait. Stay out of sight. If you listen to the radio, do it at a minimum volume. When the skies darken, do not turn on the lights. Do not go near the windows. Try to make it seem as if the house has been abandoned. This may not stop a random zombie intrusion, but it will help to discourage a mass congregation from descending upon your home.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #21)
Most churches, synagogues, mosques, and other houses of worship are built to withstand forced entry. Most have heavy wood or metal doors. Windows tend to be high off the ground. A majority passes wrought-iron fences that can serve as added protection. However, the protection they offer during an outbreak will never be enough against the zombies that are sure to come. The walking dead attack churches for one good reason: it's where the food is. Despite their education, technical savvy, and professed disinterest in the spiritual world, urban Americans run, screaming to their gods, at the first sight of zombies. These places of worship, crammed with people loudly praying for their souls, have always served as beacons for the undead.

On the Run

Mar. 21st, 2011 11:02 am
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #22)
How many zombies (approximately) stand between you and your destination? Where are the natural boundaries? Have there been hazardous accidents such as fires or chemical spills? What are the safest routes to take? What are the most dangerous? Which have been blocked since the outbreak began? Will weather be a problem? Are there any assets along the way? Are you sure they're still there? Can you think of any information you'd like to have before setting out?

Know your terrain. At least that factor will not change with an outbreak. If someone says to you, "Hey, let's just get going and deal with whatever's out there," hand him a pistol with one bullet and tell him that it's an easier way of committing suicide.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #29)

Nanotechnology, the study of microscopic machinery, is only in its adolescence. At present, experimental computer chips are being made that are no bigger than a molecule! One day robots that small will be able to perform tasks within the human body. These nanobots, or whatever the accepted term will be, will one day destroy cancer cells, repair damaged tissue, even attack and destroy hostile viruses. Theoretically, there is no reason why they could not be injected by the billions into a recently infected human to identify the Solanum virus and eradicate it from the system. When will this technology be perfected?When will it find its way into the medical profession? When will it be adopted for combating Solanum? Only time will tell.
macdobhran: Whoop Ass (Zombieland Rule #21)
No information--historical, experimental, or otherwise--has surfaced regarding the results of sexual relations with an undead specimen, but as previously noted, the nature of Solanum suggests a high danger of infection. Warning against such an act would be useless, as the only people deranged enough to try would be unconcerned for their own safety. Many have argued that, given the congealed nature of undead bodily fluids, the chances of infection from a non-bite contact should be low. However, it must be remembered that even on organism is enough to begin the cycle.
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