Daily Survival Guide

[macdobhran]

How to Deal with a Stalker
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1. Firmly inform the stalker that if the unwanted behavior persists, you will take action.
   Threaten to contact the authorities or a larger, stronger friend or relative. Be prepared to do so. Do not give in to any threats, and be ready to secure a restraining order or civil protection order if it becomes necessary for your peace of mind.


2. Inform your family, friends, and coworkers of the situation.
   Keep a paper trail.


3. Save any relevant letters, notes, e-mails and voice mails--maintain a log or diary of your stalker's actions and report any unlawful behavior to the police immediately. Report phone calls to both the phone company and the police.


4. Inform the authorities.
   Do not let fear of retribution stop you from taking action. Take legal action immediately.

Comments

[sestree.livejournal.com]

...and when the authorities don't believe you, you can have your very own 1/2 hour show courtesy of Extreme Forensics like Jodi Sanderholm.

Sad sad sad. Hopefully one day the folks in the country parts will realize that not all girls are hysterical when they turn someone in over and over and over again ......

[chellebelle74.livejournal.com]

They forgot a step - Once you have told the stalker, in no uncertain terms, that you do not wish to see or hear from him/her again, you do not respond in any way, shape, or form. Any response, even a negative one, can be construed as encouragement on the part of the stalker. But all the rest of the steps are spot on.

[netsearcher.livejournal.com]

What Chellebelle74 says is absolutely correct - and spread the word to any "intermediate" person the stalker may contact as a proxy that they should do the same on your behalf - don't discuss you with the stalker. The thing to do is to cut them off from any contact they get or information about you they can get as fast and completely as possible.

Gavin de Becker has it right. "The only response is no response." If they get a reaction -any reaction- from you after making 20 attempts then what they learn is that that's what they need to do to get what they want, and it encourages them anew.

As someone who has dealt with, studied and advised others on stalking, the list above had a mix of good info and stuff that made me cringe when I read it. Stalkers stalk for different reasons, and while the 'keep a log' is good and 'let people know' is good, running for a restraining order works for some types and backfires (or does nothing useful) for others.

The best thing any stalking victim can do is to educate themselves as much as possible about stalking, so they understand what they need to do - and what they should NOT do, to best mitigate the problem.